


Blame it on the Grapes!

by GintaxAlvissforever



Category: Disgaea (Light Novels), Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuuin no Tsurugi | Fire Emblem: Binding Blade, Street Fighter, Super Smash Brothers, 光神話 | Kid Icarus (Video Games)
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Comedy, Demons, FeelsCornMan, FeelsPacMan, Food Kink, Food Porn, Food Sex, Friendship, From Grapes, Gender or Sex Swap, Humor, Implied Relationships, Lactation, M/M, Original Character(s), Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 00:29:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10651272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GintaxAlvissforever/pseuds/GintaxAlvissforever
Summary: Dealing with demons was never an easy thing for Pit. Because he let his guard down, half of the mansion was attacked by a demon with the ability to turn body parts into food. The person’s life wasn’t in danger as one would expect, but it was a nuisance to deal with. There are only two ways with dealing with the food parts. Either they got it cured by a healing angel or have that food part be eaten (specifically if the food is in a place where a sexual organ used to be). Roy decides not to tell Pit he was a victim of the attack and confronts Ryu alone hoping he would help him with his little predicament. Too bad he forgot about what Ryu’s favorite fruit was.





	Blame it on the Grapes!

**Author's Note:**

> While the idea would have made a great one-shot action fic, I wanted porn to be involved somehow, so I chose a rare pair I almost never write about (due to the lack of establishing them in my universe). Enjoy!

There have been many assumptions and/or misconceptions about Roy when he entered Smash Brothers. He was Marth's little brother. He was a ladies man that had a harem back home. He was a hot-blooded idiot that fought for love and justice. He was a loser who copied Marth's skills in battle. All of those were wrong…well most of them. Roy was the only child of Eliwood and Ninian. Marth was from a different timeline to begin with, so it was a stupid assumption to make. He wasn't hot-blooded originally. Overtime, he became what people came to expect of him, but he preferred giving the impression that he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed when it was the exact opposite. Roy was a very observant individual and was able to sense danger from a mile away. He never bothered to tell people this because no one would believe him.

The one thing that Roy wished was true was having a harem of women waiting for him back home. Yes, they were probably cheering for him to win, but only half of them legitimately liked him. Soon, Roy would have to pick one of them to marry and continue the bloodline. Roy wanted to choose carefully, so he would make his sickly father proud. In order to make Eliwood proud, Roy had to make sure he didn't disgrace his family bloodline and do anything stupid.

Yet, Roy's pride was probably why he was in this odd situation to begin with. He could blame it on Pit of course. That angel had so many enemies in the Netherworld that it was a miracle that most of them couldn't reach the mansion because of Master Hand. The ones that got past the radar always went after Pit without fail. They always failed to defeat or kill him, but there was always some collateral damage that hurt the other Smashers more than anything.

This situation was no different except no one's life was in danger. Their reputation was probably wounded as well as their pride. Roy wouldn't be surprised if pictures of this incident went on the internet. The redhead was safe from the internet because he chose not to tell Pit that he was hit by that dumb demon's spell. The fact it wasn't that obvious to see either made things easier.

So this was the rundown that lead to Roy pleading with his roommate to help him dispel the curse that was placed on him. Another demon wanted to get back at Pit for whatever he did in the Netherworld. Roy didn't catch the name of the demon, but it was some brat who had personal ties to Pit in some shape or form. Pit had murmured how it wasn't his fiancé, so he was in the clear originally. That was why he had ignored the threats given by this demon kid. Not wanting to be ignored, the demon kid showed that he meant business. He took out his wand and started to attack Pit with his magic. While Pit could easily handle the kid with one arm tied behind his back, he decided to humor the little brat. The demon wasn't stupid though and came to the conclusion that if Pit didn't take him seriously, then he would take it out on the Smashers. Pit was banking on Bayonetta or Palutena to come out of the mansion and stop the demon child before he caused havoc, but things never went according to plan. The end result was at least ten Smashers were hit by this odd curse the demon child planted on them. It was similar to the Eggplant and Tempura curse but instead of turning your entire body into that food item (with the real threat of being eaten), only a portion of your body became a random solid food. That ranged from fruits and vegetables to desserts. Pit enjoyed whoever gained noodle arms.

The demon child named Kira attempted to target those close to Pit in hopes that the angel captain would rage at him. Problem was Kira didn't know who Pit was a friend with and cursed people randomly. This meant that that Pit wouldn't care too much about who got hit unless it was Dark Pit or Palutena. Then again, the results were hilarious.

Peach had her butt turned into a literal peach. Falco had his legs turned into literal chicken wings. Marth was the one with the noodle arms and it was a wonderful sight to behold. Sheik's head became a fish. Corrin's entire body became a literal corn on the cob to the point that he couldn't actually move, and all the poor guy could do was laugh maniacally into the sky as if his good fortune left him. Mac's boxing gloves were replaced with Mac and Cheese. Pac-Man's eyes became pepperoni pizza with some pineapples on it. Pikachu's entire body became a ketchup bottle where only his small hands, legs and tail made it clear that the ketchup bottle was a Pokémon and not a food group.

Not even Bayonetta or Palutena were safe. The former had her entire suit and (by proxy her hair) coated as white as mayonnaise. The stench from that food was also apparent and no amount of water was going to wash it away. As for Palutena, she ended up with a pumpkin stuck on her head that she couldn't get off. She looked like a jack-o-lantern waiting to kill her next victim on Halloween. That was when Pit knew he had to actually do something to stop the demon child from cursing anyone else.

"PITTTTTTTT!" Palutena could be heard screaming when she learned that the demon was getting back at him. "YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN TROUBLE IF YOU DON'T GET THAT LITTLE SHIT!"

Oh, she wasn't just mad. She was furious. Pit could hear Viridi laughing in his head as she suggested that he actually do something before his wings became barbeque wings. The light angel sighed in defeat as he waited for Kira to make his presence known when he tried to aim his curse at another Smasher before Pit snuck up on him and grabbed him by the collar.

"Woah! Let me go! I was just playing around!" The demon child shouted. "Come on! I didn't hurt anyone!"

"I'm glad you think this is funny, but it's time to stop." Pit groaned. "I'm going to get in trouble because of you."

Rosalina had to get out of the mansion to see if Pit was doing what Palutena wanted. The brunette didn't break a sweat and had the demon where he wanted him.

"Rosalina, is things really that bad?"

"Yes." Rosalina answered in her usual monotone voice. "Sheik can't talk anymore. All he says is "Two"."

Pit understood the joke even though Rosalina was not joking around. "And?"

"Ike is trying to eat Falco. Wario is eating the pepperoni off of Pac-Man's eyes. Kirby is chasing Pikachu thinking he found his next meal. Corrin won't stop laughing and Marth won't stop crying."

"Good." Pit said referring to Marth being in tears. "Was Shulk hit by this spell?"

"No."

"Dammit. Kid, you need to learn to hit the people I don't like."

Kira looked at him like he was crazy. "Why are you enjoying this?! Aren't you mad at my evil deeds?"

"Not really, but you hit Lady Palutena, so your fun has to end." Pit answered honestly.

"You're unbelievable sometimes Pit." Rosalina told him. "Palutena will be mad at you and Bayonetta will too."

"Because of what happened with Corrin? Why would she be mad? She can use him as a corn sword or something."

"Her hair is mayonnaise and it smells."

"Oh shit…I take it back kid. You're not half bad if you can hit Bayonetta like that."

Kira shivered. Pit was more like a demon than anything. Maybe it was a bad idea to prank him and get him mad enough to attack his cousin Laharl. Now he would suffer the consequences.

"So, what about everyone else?" Pit asked.

"Mac isn't that upset with his hands." Rosalina admitted. "And you can't really see any problems with Peach. Yes, she's complaining, but as long as she keeps her mouth shut, no one is going to notice underneath that dress."

"Ah…"

"So, now you got to find a way to reverse the effect." Rosalina started before looking down at the child. Kira thought Pit was scary, but Rosalina's blank expression was worse. "So child, do you know how to fix this?"

"Y-Yes ma'am…" He mumbled. "You just need a specific healing spell that angels are good at removing. A-And you can also eat that body part that was changed and it will change back."

"…Isn't that counterproductive?" Pit asked out loud.

"Not really. No one would ever think about eating someone out."

"…But Pikachu is literal ketchup…" Rosalina mumbled. "Squeezing that poor thing isn't going to make it pleasant."

"I didn't say it wasn't going to hurt." Kira said with a laugh. "You said someone's eyes turned into pizza? His eyes are going to hurt for a while."

Pit felt bad for Pac-Man…just a bit. Pac-Man already looked like a pizza anyway, so…

The light angel noticed that Rosalina was rather quiet now. Once Pit focused on her, he could hear Palutena talking. Rosalina eyed Pit and sighed.

"Everyone heard you on how to fix the issue. They are not impressed."

"O-Oh…"

"Be happy that Dark Pit wasn't hit."

"Well, there would be hell if this brat hit him."

"So, Palutena wants to know what you'll do to the child."

Pit gave an evil smirk. "I'm going to send him back to his mama and curse her out for not supervising him like a good parent."

Kira snarled at Pit insulting his mother. At least he knew that he wouldn't be killed and the worse that was going to happen was a firm scolding from an angel and being humiliated in front of his lovely mother.

"I'm going to send Himeno and Raphael to fix the problem here. They are the healing experts and they heal for free. I'm going to the Netherworld right now."

Rosalina shook her head in annoyance. Palutena was screaming and freaking out, but there wasn't much the green haired Goddess could do. For whatever reason, her powers are weaker without a normal head. Viridi was most likely going to help Pit get through the Netherworld and chat with Pit about what just happened. Regardless, Pit was only doing this so he wouldn't get a bad scolding from Palutena.

The Goddess of Space would need to gather the Smashers who were cursed into one room and heal them all at once. Hopefully, certain Smashers with huge appetites wouldn't eat them. Rosalina watched as Pit's Viridi activated Power of Flight as he flew off into the distance. Viridi was going to open a door to the Netherworld, so he wasn't going to fly for very long.

Rosalina wasted no more time gathering the Smashers up. She expected the angels to come soon should Pit or her send a message to Skyworld immediately. Either that or Palutena would have to calm down and get those two healing angels to show up and fix the problem. She needed to do this before Master Hand found out and started freaking out. Then again, he might laugh seeing Cloud roll Corrin down the stairs seeing as how he had fallen and could not get back up as a corn on the cob.

Roy was watching the whole thing play out from the window. Rosalina only mentioned the people she knew got hit before Pit decided to intervene. She did not know that Kira hit one more person before Pit stopped him. Roy was the unfortunate victim and was far from pleased with what happened. He didn't laugh or scream or cry at what food was slapped on his body. He was shocked and embarrassed that out of all the things that could have happened to him, the spell gave him grape breasts. His armor was good enough to keep his chest together, but Roy swore that the grapes were getting bigger and needed to get out of his armor. Roy decided it would be best to wait for Ryu to come in before he asked him what he should do with it.

Roy was a prideful swordsman. Instead of going to the first floor where the cursed Smashers would go, Roy opted to take the least embarrassing route. Yes, Corrin was corn and Pac-Man was going to get his eyes eaten at this rate, but Roy was given a sexual organ that he didn't have originally. It would be as embarrassing as a girl having a dick shaped fruit slapped on their crotch or something. He refused to let the other Smashers think less of him because he got huge grape breasts. Roy would have preferred if his head turned into some giant fruit instead of this. Feeling insecure was something Roy wasn't used to. The Young Lion sighed as he closed the blinds and waited for Ryu to get out of the restroom. Ryu was lucky he wasn't the target. If Roy went to use the bathroom first, he was certain his roommate would have been hit by the spell.

When Ryu came out of the bathroom, he was indeed confused at Roy's sudden nervousness. The martial artist did hear what Rosalina projected, but didn't think much of it if it didn't involve him. Unfortunately, it did.

"What is wrong Roy? Are you feeling sick?"

"Y-Yes and no…" Roy answered quietly. "I uh…you heard what Rosalina said, right?"

"About Smashers being turned into food and to go to the first floor to get fixed up? Yes, but I am not effected."

"…Well…I am…" Roy mumbled.

"Then go to the first floor."

"I would…but it's the location where I got cursed."

Ryu was confused until Roy pointed to his chest. The martial artist needed a minute to understand what Roy was implying before he figured it out.

"Oh…"

"I…I can't go down there. They're going to make fun of me for becoming a woman because of this curse!"

"But you're not a woman."

"Then what am I? I can't remove these breasts off of me! I am in need of serious help!"

"…And you could get it healed downstairs."

"I can't!" Roy cried out. Ryu rubbed his temples in annoyance. If this keeps up, Roy was going to get him to do what he wanted. Ryu had told himself he wouldn't do everything Roy wanted even though it was tempting this time around.

"Why me…"

"Please Ryu…this is super uncomfortable…" Roy begged. He avoided looking Ryu in the eyes as he slowly removed his armor. He didn't expect the grapes to jump out of his armor like real breasts. Ryu's eyes widened not at the female organs on his body, but the fact that they were grapes. "I don't want these things weighing me down when I fight tomorrow…"

If Ryu wouldn't do this, then Roy would have to compromise somehow. Perhaps wrapping bandages around these grapes would fix the problem. Or maybe popping them would do him justice.

"Are you certain you want me to help you?" Ryu asked him. "This is your last chance. I don't believe that eating the food off of you will get rid of them."

"Rosalina gave the mansion throughout the mansion. She never lies."

"You look uncomfortable though. Would you prefer someone else?"

In the back of Roy's mind, Marth did come to mind. The Hero King had his own problems with his long noodle arms that could grab anyone from a distance if he tried. Like Marth, Roy trusted Ryu. He didn't know Ryu that long in comparison to Marth, but he already felt a kinship with him. He went to Ryu first not only because he was his roommate, but also because he knew that Ryu would not speak up about this incident.

"No. Only you." Roy spoke. He gulped. The way he said it sounded like a confession. Surely, Ryu didn't think that. "I just want these things gone. You can do whatever you want. If the other way of getting rid of these without revealing to everyone what happened to me is to eat them…then I give you permission. I know you love grapes…so…"

The grape breasts bounced when Roy shifted slightly. Ryu eyed Roy intensely before finally giving into the young Marques' demand.

Roy thought that Ryu was the gentle type. He was dead wrong. Once Roy gave the approval to do whatever it took to remove the curse, Ryu did not hesitate to reach out and grab at the grapes. Roy flinched not expecting the grapes to hurt him so much. He groaned as he shut his eyes. All Ryu had to do was "pop" the grapes. A few squeezes should have done the trick, but it wasn't going to be that easy. The grapes were stuck to Roy's chest so yanking them wasn't an option. Ryu was confused on why the grapes were so soft. Normal grapes were squished easily, so why did it feel like a breast than an actual grape? When Ryu looked at the other Smashers who had their limbs turned into food, there was any implication that the food was not aesthetic only.

"Okay…I guess this wouldn't work…" Roy mumbled. "Well, I guess I'll have to take a knife and po-woah!"

Roy's sentence was cut short due to Ryu suddenly pushing the Young Lion on the bed. Roy was certain it was Ryu's from the smell of sweat and meatloaf radiating from it. Roy had gotten used to the scent at this point of time, but his attention was to the martial artist whose eyes were locked onto the grape breasts like it was his new opponent. Ryu had only grabbed one of the breasts. He grabbed the second breast with his free hand and started to caress it. Roy felt his body burning up and it wasn't from his flaming sword.

"P-Please move faster…" Roy muttered. "This is embarrassing…ahh…"

"My apologies." Ryu told him. "I'm just checking the firmness."

That sounded perverted in Roy's head, but Ryu was serious. He wasn't the type to make jokes and when he did, he was bad at them. Roy nodded his head as he let Ryu do as he pleased. The redhead closed his eyes hoping that the problem he had would go away. It was going to take a few minutes. Hell, Roy didn't even know if this would work. He put his trust in Ryu, but if this didn't work, then he would have to show Pit that he was another victim of that demon child's list.

Roy gasped feeling a wet tongue on his breast. He wanted to slap Ryu for being more aggressive and perverted than he needed to be, but the martial artist wouldn't have any of that. Roy was making it difficult constantly squirming and trying to get away despite asking for Ryu to fix the problem. The martial artist decided it would be best to just put his weight over his roommate's and finish the job like that. That would have been great had Ryu paid attention to one minor detail.

Ryu was unintentionally grinding up against Roy's groin while he was fondling his breasts. His self-restraint was thrown out the window every time Ryu's cock would rub against his own. He gasped as he quickly grabbed onto the bed sheets and clung to them tightly. Roy gritted his teeth in frustration, but soft groans would still escape his lips. Ryu wasn't paying attention though as he suddenly grabbed at Roy's nipples and started pinching them. Pathetic whines were the reward Ryu got for these actions. The martial artist frowned at something before deciding to bite at said nipples. Roy wouldn't be able to hold his voice back from something like that.

"Ahhh! Ryu!"

Ryu glanced up at Roy puzzled at his pitch increasing. He blinked seeing how Roy's face was the same color as his hair. His condition seemed to have gotten worse. Unless he made these grapes disappear, he would only get sicker. The martial artist was not going to allow this and bit down harder on the nipples. No blood would be drawn, but something was clearly coming out of the grape breasts. Ryu tasted grape juice. The flavor was so sweet that it would have driven any grape lover insane.

"N-Not so har-ahhh!"

Ryu didn't hear Roy's request to not be as hard on him. Besides fire, Roy felt electricity zap his entire body. The blood was rushing to his groin and he prayed that Ryu didn't notice. He weakly called out to Ryu, which Ryu took as Roy warning him about the damage that was being done. A combination of groping, squeezing and biting was bringing Roy to an orgasm. He hated this feeling in his stomach. Was this how girl's felt when a man fondled with their breasts? The feeling was amazing, but Roy reminded himself that he wasn't a girl and Ryu was his friend. No way did this arouse him!

"R-Ryu, I-I'm…"

Roy's sentence was cut off as he screamed in delight. Something was leaking from his nipples and Ryu noticed immediately. It wouldn't be long until the grape nipples squirted its juices out and into Ryu's mouth. The grape breasts were deflating, so Ryu was almost done with his job. However, the martial artist wasn't going to let the juice go to waste and drank the grape juice like his life depended on it. Roy continued to make weird squealing noises that Ryu could not comprehend while he was doing it. The Young Lion would start to murmur words under his breath that Ryu did not register in his mind. With how flustered Roy looked, it was probably embarrassing things that he wished that no one would hear.

Once Ryu was done sucking the juices out of the grape breasts, the grapes had deflated like a balloon. Now, Ryu could grab the now deflated grapes and yank them off Roy's body. The Marques didn't suffer any noticeable injuries from what Ryu could tell. A checkup from Dr. Mario should suffice, but the worse of Roy's problems were gone now.

Roy collapsed onto the bed and was glad that Ryu didn't do the same thing. Then again, he wasn't exhausting himself from all the grabbing and sucking. He sighed in relief that Ryu wasn't staring at his crotch when he was finished. The Young Lion felt his pants were very tight and didn't want Ryu to see that his actions turned him on.

"It's done." Ryu said simply as he faced away from his roommate. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Y-Yeah…" Roy murmured weakly once he caught his breath. "The…grapes are gone…"

Ryu nodded his head in approval.

"T-Thank you."

Roy wanted to say something else, but suspected that it was inappropriate to ask. Who cares if Ryu was good with handling breasts? Ryu probably had many partners in the past, so it should have been expected. Ryu waited for Roy to say something else before he stood up from his bed. He headed toward the bathroom without saying a word. Roy was very confused by this action. Unless he was going to wash his hands, there wasn't really a reason to return to the bathroom after coming out of it not too long ago. The redhead shook his head as he slowly got up from Ryu's bed and moved toward his bed. Today's event exhausted him, so he needed to sleep it off.

 _Tomorrow is another day._ Roy thought grimly to himself as he shut his eyes. Frustration was starting to be built up do to his sudden erection, but he was willing to ignore it until Ryu left the room. There was no way he was turned on by something as humiliating by that. Roy was into women and that was that. Roy could keep telling himself that, but he would drift off to sleep and having questionable dreams soon after.

**Author's Note:**

> Me: Done with 4807 words. Notes!
> 
> 1\. The implication I had was that the demon child who attacked Pit was Laharl's cousin Kira. That kid is actually malicious but got punished in the novel and was turned into a Prinny for 10,000 years. I only take the characters as canon and not the novel itself, which is why he is shown pranking Pit instead of actively trying to kill Laharl. Then again, if Kira manipulated Pit into killing Laharl, things would work well for him.
> 
> 2\. While some of the jokes are obvious on why certain Smashers became certain food, there are some that require a little bit of researching and references.
> 
> Sheik having a fish for a head is a reference to his bouncing fish attack. Sheik saying "Two" is what it sounds like Sheik is saying in Melee.
> 
> Marth having noodle arms is a reference to his ridiculous long grab range in Melee.
> 
> Palutena having a pumpkin on her head is more of a reference of the ending of Revolting Dinner with dealing with escaped food and ending with a vegetable stuck on her head and Pit seeing that.
> 
> Pikachu being a ketchup bottle is a reference to season 1 of the Pokémon anime where Pikachu spent half an episode licking the ketchup bottle and crying when it was split in half.
> 
> 3\. Ryu eats a lot like Kirby. He likes three specific foods but I only listed grapes and meatloaf since the last one is a Japanese specific treat that Roy wouldn't know about.
> 
> 4\. The idea I had for Ryu was that he was kind of oblivious to romantic affections just like Roy is. The difference is because of Smash, Roy picked up on it rather quickly hence why a lot of people right him as a horny individual sometimes simply because he didn't get it on during the war in his world. No matter how long it has been for Ryu, he has never been interested in that sort of thing and focused on training and helping his friends, so even if he has something for Roy, he won't pick it up anytime soon.


End file.
